I’ve received this email (or very similar) a number of times recently, always to my iTWire email address, never any of my personal addresses. Note it was delivered as a single paragraph, but I’ve reformatted to improve readability (inspecting the source code, there were <b> tags, but my mail client chose to ignore them).

Hi there!

I am a professional hacker and have successfully managed to hack your operating system.

Currently I have gained full access to your account. In addition, I was secretly monitoring all your activities and watching you for several months. The thing is your computer was infected with harmful spyware due to the fact that you had visited a website with porn content previously. ╰-⋃-╯ Let me explain to you what that entails.

Thanks to Trojan viruses, I can gain complete access to your computer or any other device that you own. It means that I can see absolutely everything in your screen and switch on the camera as well as microphone at any point of time without your permission. In addition, I can also access and see your confidential information as well as your emails and chat messages. You may be wondering why your antivirus cannot detect my malicious software. Let me break it down for you: I am using harmful software that is driver-based, which refreshes its signatures on 4-hourly basis, hence your antivirus is unable to detect it presence.

I have made a video compilation, which shows on the left side the scenes of you happily masturbating, while on the right side it demonstrates the video you were watching at that moment..ᵔ.ᵔ All I need is just to share this video to all email addresses and messenger contacts of people you are in communication with on your device or PC. Furthermore, I can also make public all your emails and chat history. I believe you would definitely want to avoid this from happening.

Here is what you need to do - transfer the Bitcoin equivalent of 1250 USD to my Bitcoin account (that is rather a simple process, which you can check out online in case if you don't know how to do that). Below is my bitcoin account information (Bitcoin wallet): 1LqSNBE9rcvypxXF8fiBE88YenJsRfvsEZ Once the required amount is transferred to my account, I will proceed with deleting all those videos and disappear from your life once and for all. Kindly ensure you complete the abovementioned transfer within 50 hours (2 days +).

I will receive a notification right after you open this email, hence the countdown will start. Trust me, I am very careful, calculative and never make mistakes. If I discover that you shared this message with others, I will straight away proceed with making your private videos public. Good luck!

Please, allow me to explain why this ‘professional hacker’ is full of ‘excrement.’

Firstly, in the final paragraph he (I’ll assume this is a male) claims to have some kind of tracker included in the email. I’ve crawled through the entire and there is no such thing. Thus, there is no way for this fool to know when I opened the message. Further, as I noted earlier, I’ve already received this same email a handful of times in the past and no damage has befallen me even though no bitcoin changed hands.

Next, we find all manner of weirdness in the language. First of all, “hack your operating system.” Aside from this being a rather weird way to describe my computer; surely if he’s hacked in, he would know EXACTLY what my operating system was and would tell me. In addition, if he actually wanted to demonstrate that he had clearly been in my system, he would offer a specific snapshot. For instance (and I’m totally making this up), “on March 15th between 8:00 and 10:30 you had a raunchy discussion with your secret girlfriend, where you mentioned doing XXX to her.” There is NOTHING like this anywhere in the email. No personal details whatsoever.

Next, “I am using harmful software that is driver-based, which refreshes its signatures on 4-hourly basis, hence your antivirus is unable to detect it presence.” This is unmitigated garbage. Any competent AV will happily detect this kind of behaviour.

“I have made a video compilation, which shows on the left side the scenes of you happily masturbating, while on the right side it demonstrates the video you were watching at that moment.” Dude, I hate to inform you… but this PROVES that you’re full of poo. So full, in fact, that your eyes have gone brown. I have to tell you, my good friend, that my laptop’s webcam is permanently covered with a sliding privacy door. It is ONLY open when I’m on a video conference. Thanks Proofpoint for the trade show give-away.

So, if any of our readers has the knowledge and skill to disrupt that specific wallet, please go at it! The fool deserves it.

Finally, a message to everyone. Please ignore these emails, they are nothing more than a scam.  Oh, and I'm REALLY hoping that the fool actually sees this item and gets all grumpy. That would be my best reward.